The long school year finally came to an end and Tom and his
friends Billy and Madison decided they were going to start summer off with a
camping trip. They decided to rent a cabin out at a holiday resort in Birdtown.
When they arrived at the holiday home they ran into a crazy hermit. The hermit
told them about the legend of the abandoned laboratory. He described how
scientists from 100 years ago conducted animal research and experimented on the
genomes of different species. Furthermore, he said villagers killed the
scientists and burned down the laboratory due to their cruel experiments. Many believed
that the laboratory was destroyed but the hermit said that he has seen it on
one of his late night walks. He heard a lot of strange noises coming from
inside. The next morning he returned to the same spot but the laboratory was
not there. He assumed that the laboratory only appeared during a full moon. A
guest at the resort assured Tom and his friends that the hermit was just crazy and
that the abandoned laboratory did not exist. Tom and his friends returned to
there cabin and started talking about this mysterious legend. After some discussion
they made up their minds to go find out if this laboratory existed. Billy googled when
the next full moon would appear. To his luck there was a full moon to be
expected tonight. The children set off on their journey and discovered the
abandoned laboratory. After going inside the laboratory they heard a strange
cackling sound. The ghost of one of the killed scientists appeared and started
chasing them. Madison accidentally tripped over a lever in the laboratory. The
ghost of the scientist then laughed menacingly and disappeared. Tom and his
friends sighed in relief. They then heard a bunch of chirping noises. A swarm
of angry birds was released from the laboratory and descended upon the town.
The mutated birds ate everything in their path and left the town devastated.
The End.
A picture of the mutated birds flying: http://mashable.com/category/angry-birds/
I’m going to take a shot in the dark and guess that you are an Adam Sandler fan, given the naming of your main characters in your story. This makes for an entertaining origin story for the Angry Birds game, although it kind of ends on a dark note. Did the birds eat Billy, Madison and the rest of the townsfolk too?
ReplyDeleteYour story was pretty funny. My husband's mom plays the angry birds game almost obsessively, so I kept picturing her as the ghost scientist.
ReplyDeleteI also did the map for my prompt, so it was neat to see how someone else used the elements to create a completely different story.
I'll keep an eye out for crazy hermits on the next full moon.
Your story has a very creative setting! The origin of the Angry Birds is still a mystery for me. After reading your story, I know a possible origin is that Angry Birds are accidently released from an abandoned science lab. This is very interesting.
ReplyDeleteI want to give you a suggestion on paragraph structure. Although your storytelling has a good setting and characters, your storytelling looks a little messy visually. The first transition I think will be at the decision of renting a cabin in Birdtown. The next possible transition could be at the hermit talks about the science lab. The third transition can be after the releasing of the Angry Birds. I think you could add more content to tell readers the consequence of releasing the Angry Birds. This can make you story more integrated.
To sum up, your story is very good, but it need some more works on the paragraph designing.